my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you
i was once told that drinking so much pepsi would give me cancer
from someone holding their third cigarette of the day.
(Source: biforce, via lolfaget)
if i was famous i’d just tour around the country without telling anyone and go to random college campuses late at night, and i’d wait until i saw one person walking by themselves and i’d walk behind them and put my hands over their eyes and say guess who and when they turned around it’d be me and they’d be like omg and then i’d say “no one will ever believe you” and i’d just sprint off into the moonlight
(Source: shavingryansprivates, via lolfaget)
When someone plays a song for you that you’ve never heard before
WHAT. WHAT IS THIS. THAT IS NOT WHAT IT’S LIKE. SORRY YOU’RE WRONG. NOT SORRY. IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE DICK IN YOUR ASS.
wtf??? he doesn’t have a dick in his ass, his friend is playing a song he’s never heard before
fuck you all
(Source: sassyopeia, via lolfaget)